Here I am.. Back to my babbles of today’s emotional residue.
Waking up this morning, I found out a contact in my bbm post a picture with a girl. Well, u must be able to conclude that this particular person i mentioned before is a boy. Yes, i have had a crush about him, that i put my attention to his updates. Duh… The ‘first’ gal of today that pushed me to grow. Growing out of this foolish unreasonable pathetic crush. Growing up to be a free woman, in this self destructing expectation.
Now moving on to the ‘second’ gal that brought different color of the rest of the day. She has been a company of my planning-procrastinating-studying-binged-eating stuff for months. Seriously a type of company with whom u can chit chat about casual stuff and above average amount of deeper stuff as well. I admit I am really enjoying this gal’s company. Despite the fun interaction, every human being ain’t perfect. She does have not-so-desirable traits. Egocentric, Lack of talk-action integrity, and Stubborn are some of the list. Well, for a person like me who takes every word of mouth in serious consideration, u must have guessed i have been disappointed more than a couple of time since we started communication and build some ‘commitment’. Few times of forgetting appointment often leads to blaming others in one or two occasion. Geez, I have been badmouthing a friend here.. #nooffencepls
Overall, no matter how much i was irritated today. Let’s take a different POV, a positive sunglasses to view, observe, analyze this situation. Lesson of the day : Learn my weakness, learn my shortfall, control it, do not let the situation actively downgrade my emotion, my mood, my soul. I know I am scarred. Let this scar make me more understanding the gray area of every person. Forgive a lot, but never forget how to control my mental response the next time this things happen. Despite of this ‘2nd’ girl’s Jekyll side, she is still a close friend to me. Close..
Growing up is a painful experience. Attend less outside, attend more inside. Don’t let bad water make your soul dirty!